On the "Right to Fight"

Ive been thinking about this a lot recently, especially when it comes to birth parents.
Every child we have cared for in our home has been a wonderful blessing. They have each taught me something, and S made me a mommy.
We went through a long 3.5 year battle with S's birthmom. She has no capibility to parent him, yet she was able to drag it out for over 3 years. Why? Because she had the right to fight.
M's birthmom and maternal grandma want us to adopt her. M's birthdad, who has been told he has no chance of getting custody, is digging in his heels and making it go to court.. Because he, as nothing more then a sperm donor, has the right to fight.
Well, what about the child's rights? M has been with us for 10 months. Doesn't she have the right to stay where she is safe, loved, protected and provided for? We have had her since she was 4 months old, we are all she knows. She has the right to stay with us.
So, who's rights are more important?
The birth father?
Ours?
Or M's?
No matter which way it goes, someone will be hurt.
If he gets custody, I honestly don't know what I will do. I will be a mess for awhile. but in time I will pick up the peices, and be ready to go again. But I would worry about her for the rest of my life.
If we get crownward.. he loses his legal rights to his daughter.
There is no winning.
I wish my birthmom would fight to have me in her life the way these birth parents fight for their children.
But I am so thankful for my incredible parents... My mom is one of my best friends, and it makes it a little easier to know that she has been though what Ive been though..