Ever have one of those days?

Thats been my week.. nothing but day after day of crapyness.
I know I should be thankful for what we have, but I just can't find that thankful spot in my heart right now.
That and I have a 3 year old who is bent on ticking me off at every available opportunity. *sigh*
Part of my problem is that I feel like I failed him. All my life I wanted to home school my kids, because of the awful experience school was for me. But I am so scared to do that with Shel because I don't think I can keep up with him. I am also worried about enrolling him in school before the adoption is final because his birthmom could find out where he is.
We took a class on moving kids on to adoption yesterday. It was interesting, but irrlevent. I was hoping for more of an explanation as to the whole adoption process but that didnt happen.
Hey I am pretty proud of myself right now.. I have typed this whole post with a monkey on my lap not looking down at the keyboard. Woot! Go me!
And I think that's happy note to end this post on.
That and I have to go get baby M ready for her visit with her daddy.. i just hope he shows up because I am going to be pissed if I have to walk over there in the rain for no reason.

Have a wonderful day!

*edit* just got a call from the worker that her dad did not show up for his ride... Its now been more then 2 weeks since he has seen his baby girl.. I really hope it bothers him but I also hope he knows this is not going to help him get her back any faster. Yet another reason why teens should not be parents. 

*sigh*

today was a rough day, but better then yesterday, which I am thankful for.
BabyK is sick.. she has a pretty nasty cold and all she wants to do is snuggle. Which normally I love but with a 3 year old who demands my full attention its hard to deal with a sick baby. But, it started on Thursday so she should be getting better soon.
I am so sick of people telling me that I am not a "real" mom. I might not have given birth to any babies, but I have mothered 11 children from birth to the age of 12 over the last 3 years. I love each and every child that comes into our home like they are our own... Like any mother cares for and loves her children.
Just because I did not give birth, does not mean I am any less a mother then someone who did. In some ways, I am MORE of a mother because I look after children that their parents can't look after. The length of time I care for that child does not matter, I will love and remember them for ever. Each of the 11 have a special place in my heart.

On a happy note..Yesterday was my nephew's 3rd birthday.. and the 3 year mark of Shel being placed with us. He is finally a crown ward and we get to adopt him.. I am excited, yet the thought of his birthmom makes me sad sometimes.. I wish my birthmom had fought for me like T did for him.. I wish she wanted me that much.. but even finding her after 19 years was not enough to make her want to keep me in her life.
I love her, and I thank GOD every day she chose to gave me life..

ok Im walking away from this now.. my thoughts are getting muddled because I'm so tired.
Good night